DING. WE GOT A HAM!

My Brother Larry and I are going to share this BLOG.


I am the artist and he is the serious political motorcycle rider. We live in City of Commerce, California and we love the weather and the scene.


He is pretty sick (literally) and I am sick (figuratively...as in awesome).



Actually he was in the hospital for a couple of days last week and he just got out a few days ago. Now I wanted to have a big welcome back for him so I want over to the store and got a big dinner. Ham, Pineapple, Green Beans, Beers, Ice Cream Bars, and Carrots.




So I put the Ham in my mom's grill and left for a while (I went to home depot to get a dang 2x4 to prop up the front step of our town house..Larry has wanted that fixed since I moved in with him and I have put it off, put it off for over a year!). Well, I went to Home Depot then I went to the PETSCO store...I finally had the cash to adopt a cat, so i started the paperwork - - and let me tell you it takes a LONG TIME TO ADOPT A CAT YOU WOULD THINK I WAS BUYING A HONDA ACCORD. Anyway it took several hours to get the cat and all the supplies that you need for a cat. Then I get the cat (I named it John Kerry by the way not because I'm all that political, but I think Larry is and I wanted to make him so happy.) Oh, so I get the cat in the car and fire it up and then John Kerry's real personality comes out. This cat freaks out (completely) he rips into my leg and jumps out the window. So I have to get out and chase it around the parking lot...to make matters worse a older lady comes around and tried to help me. So John Kerry runs under a Volkswagen and i get on one side of the car and the lady gets on the other and my first idea is to poke John Kerry with a stick...well guess what - no sticks. So me and the lady start rocking the car back and forth and I start making sounds like pops and clicks for the cat to come out. Well, it didn't work so I started making barking sounds while we rocked the car - still nothing. Then I see my hero ---- a shopping cart with some trash in it! So I grab an empty Pepsi bottle and a plastic tray and I throw them at John Kerry. And BINGO! He comes right out makes a run for the street...gets spooked or something and turns back. I almost catch him but he jumps over a fence and disappears.


So I just went home...I pull in and right away I smell something weird. THE HAM WAS STILL IN THE GRILL AND IT MELTED MY MOMS WINDOW SILL. It was so hot.


So I'm like WHAT DO I DO? I put the garden hose on it and then my mom came home with Larry and my Aunt Karen. He was in BAD shape... he is all messed up and goes right to my moms bed and crashes. My mom sees the window and starts to cry...then she sees all the cat supplies and asks me what I'm going to do with those and I tell her the story and she says I wasted my money and time.


After a while my mom brought Larry and I home. He was happy about the step that I had bought a board to fix it, but he was very angry that I had to borrow $50 from my mom. I am going to have to take all that cat crap back...but I don't have a car and Larry only has a Sportbike. I'm going to try to load it on the back of the bike and take it back this weekend (I am nervous because it is a performance bike and I don’t have a license and the only helmet I have is a batters helmet with the LA Dodgers on it. AND the only time I rode it I skidded into an intersection.)


I'll update you then....


Oh Larry is sick because was bitten by something when he was working on an abandoned factory in Fresno. The doctor thinks it was a bat or a rat. Whatever it was, Larry got really, really sick as heck in like two days..he has been in and out of the hospital ever sense (that was like two months ago).